The furore caused by the plans to bring Boobs on Bikes to Tauranga shows no sign of abating, reports Not the News today, with news coming in of rival parades being prepared for the same weekend. It is believed that a rash of equality is breaking out in the Bay with some groups feeling that the exploitation of women needs a suitable balance.

Can taste get any lower? About 40cm apparently.

'We think the boys should be getting ‘em out for the girls,” exclaimed rival organiser Ophelia Gonads.

Todgers on Tandems will set off from the Mount and make its way over the harbour bridge to The Strand, where it will combine with Penises on Pogo Sticks and continue on to hold a tassel-twirling demonstration in Red Square.

Meanwhile a flotilla of small craft will head for the former Kestrel jetty, where Balls on Boats will, for most participants, show what they are made of.

Other groups believed to be flashing their support for both sides of the debate are car enthusiasts Nipples on Nissans, and emergency service vehicle restoration society group's Fannies on Fire Engines.

Support for Cocks on Cadillacs has shrunk since a forecast of cold weather, and Classic Flyers have said that ideas for a Choppers on Choppers fly past are unlikely to take off.

Police are still considering their response in consultation with the city council, but police commander Superintendent Ann Cuff says, 'In my experience of local men, there will be very little to see – especially if we get a cold day, however, we would like to warn people of the dangers of approaching the Pogo Sticks too closely.”

In other news not just in:

Posh and Becks' new baby named Harper Seven – following their theme of place-of-conception names.

'It was in the back of the Bentley on the M25 somewhere between Harpenden and Sevenoaks as far as we can tell,” says Posh.