Tauranga City Council was this morning forced to close Cameron Road following a legal challenge, reports Not the News.
Traffic chaos ensued as council staff were forced to block off all road junctions and struggled to get signs out warning drivers to find alternative routes.
Scenes of frustration on Cameron Road are the cause of its closure owing to a lack of a traffic management plan.
Boobs on Bikes organiser Steve Crow has had his challenge upheld on the basis that Cameron Road has ‘no obvious traffic management plan' and that journey times are ‘likely to be offensive to most normal people'.
He cites examples of motorists knocking up cooked breakfasts on camping stoves while waiting for a complete cycle of the lights at the 15th Avenue junction.
Crow's spokesperson, Norma Snockers, added that some journey times will probably be quicker, as drivers avoid the ‘trial by traffic lights' that is a complete run down the city's spinal feeder route.
‘Hell, haven't these people suffered enough,' she said, adding ‘if they think Satan is behind ‘Boobs on Bikes', then who knows who they think is behind the traffic management of this place'.
There has as yet been no response from the council, with senior traffic staff believed to be attending a traffic light convention in the USA, but local traffic police chief Roger Drivers said ‘We are doing our best to keep things moving,' and confirmed that patrols were giving the area a wide berth.
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3 comments
Outstanding!
Posted on 03-08-2011 14:07 | By PeteDashwood
This is one of the most perfect, timely, pieces of satire I have ever seen (and I subscribed to Private Eye for many years :-)) A brilliant piece of writing that left me gasping (and no, I'm not being satirical.) Excellent job; this one's a keeper...
All to much to absorb
Posted on 04-08-2011 11:46 | By RORTSCAM
Alternative roots indeed.I think you will find spokeswomans name was Nora Melons and chief traffic cop was Roger Ramjet .Agreed TMP has become diabolical as a result of further TCC cock ups.As they say at TCC the sticky things are often hard at first glance and it takes a while to work it out.
Official Announcement
Posted on 04-08-2011 17:23 | By KAMIKAZE
As a result of the failing TMP for B o B Council have decided to change TCC logo to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects TCCs relationship with residents and ratepayers.A condom allows for inflation halts production destroys the next generation protects a bunch of pricks and gives ratepayers a sense of security all the time they are actually being screwed.Damn it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
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