My thoughts on drinking and driving: Want a real relaxing drink? Then walk to the pub.

Going for a jar? Then leave the car. There are four stages of drink driving: Car, Bar, Car, then Ta'ra.

If you have need of a ‘Kami Kazi' car, it's easy. Just drive after having a few drinks at the bar.

Things that do not go together: Kippers with custard; fruit pudding with gravy; you with a blocked loo – and drinking and driving!

Ken Jones, Katikati.