I've been away for a couple of weeks.
Yep, while normal service has continued here without so much as a blip in the columns, I've been jetting around the world enjoying the pleasures of tropical climes and exotic food.
Sorry. I hate people who do that too.
Getting back is, of course, weird. I always find this when I leave town for more than a few days. You come back - refreshed and invigorated, or knackered and hungover as the case may be – and expect things to have changed. Something. Anything.
'What's happened while I was gone” you expectantly ask people. They look back blankly. Why should anything have happened? Then you realise that nobody has actually realised that you've been away, that your absence has made absolutely no difference to anyone, that, in fact, nothing has happened. Well, that's usually the way.
Not this time.
I come back to happy li'l New Zealand only to find the whole place has gone crazy. Only days after complaining to someone overseas (true story) that New Zealand is so small it can't even raise a decent political sex scandal, what happens but the shenanigans in Auckland? And as for Tauranga... go away for a fortnight and the place suddenly becomes party central.
Council discontent
Now I know that there was a certain level of discontent about the city council. I know because the group of six irate people who always write letters to The Sun whenever the council is mentioned in any way had recently grown to group of eight irate people. They always seem very worried about debt.
About the council paying its bills, concentrating on core services and not wasting money on frivolities like museums, art galleries, events and anything involving Hairy Maclary or Creative Tauranga. 'Throw out the council!” they say. Frequently.
So then there's a council election and what do the good people of Tauranga do? They throw out the council. Magic, eh? Except...
...except, instead of those prudent fiscal types so longed for, the public in their wisdom seem to have voted for the Too Much Fun Party. As a long-time member and supporter I couldn't be chuffeder.
(Disclaimer: as mentioned, I've been out of the country. My information comes exclusively via the Sunlive website. I have not – as far as I'm aware – ever met or talked to these newly-elected representatives.)
There's Steve Morris, who says he has 'immediate plans ranging from issues involving the level of mowing in reserves to naming of road issues”. Go Steve! That should sort the city out! And 'firstly he plans to put in place an online record of councillors' voting. Secondly, he is pushing for a web cam to record during council meetings.” Yeah, because there's such an overwhelming demand to see what happens at council meetings, what with people crowded out in the streets clamouring to watch...

A big welcome
And a big welcome to Clayton Mitchell, who wants to make the city a 'little bit more fun”.
'Let's connect our city,” he says, 'and make everything that we do a little bit more fun.” Well there we go! A man after my own heart! Clayton can pop out for cocktails at the Watusi Country Club any time he chooses.
Along with Matt Cowley. Matt says: 'We want the city to be known as a great place to host events.”
I bet that just delighted the irate letter-writers group – Tauranga, the fun place that's great to host events. Still, they say the best gifts are the ones you didn't know you even wanted...

Common sense rules
At least common sense still rules in the fiscally prudent approach of new councillor John Robson. He's a man who wants to 'put a stake in the ground around the debt issue and around rates rises.” How that fits with the events and the fun is hard to tell. Also, how you put a stake in the ground 'around” something is a little tricky to imagine. He's also the man with a plan for 'some form of trust for the councillor salaries to be put into for the next three years” thus instigating a proposed 'money back guarantee” on councillors wages. Seriously?
I'm not exactly holding my breath on that one...
So there we go. The Too Much Fun Party have taken over (except for John). Expect events. And fun. And some serious action on the level of mowing in reserves.
(Normal service will be resumed next week. In the meantime – go to the Arts Festival. This weekend. More at
www.taurangafestival.co.nz)