It's good to be back! Of course it is. When I've spent the last week in sweltering Chicago hanging out at late night blues clubs why wouldn't I be chuffed to get back to the joys of a New Zealand winter?

As a tourist, America is a pleasure to visit. Shopkeepers, hotel staff, waitresses, nearly everyone is polite and helpful. Can't do enough to get your business. Genuinely seem to want to welcome visitors from far away to their great country.
And they love their history and legends (which are often the same thing – as John Ford said, 'When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”). While we still wallow in some sort of post-colonial guilt or embarrassment, they celebrate their pioneers, however misguided they might have been.
Take Columbus. Christopher Columbus is big there. Kinda like Captain Cook but with a public holiday. Here are some facts: Columbus never actually set foot on mainland America – the closest he came on his lauded 1492 voyage was the Bahamas. He made his crew swear an oath that, if asked, they would say they'd reached India. On his deathbed in 1506 he remained convinced that he'd reached the coast of Asia (which is what he was trying to do in the first place).
But why let inconvenient detail intrude? Christopher Columbus Discovers America! – print the legend.
But there's a certain honesty at street level. The blues club I most frequented had the slogan: Hear Blues, Drink Booze, Talk Loud. It was refreshing to hear the MC exhorting people to drink more. I think that's illegal in New Zealand. Here we have a Royal Commission instead. A Royal Commission which wants to increase the price of your drinks but neglects to even comment on alcohol advertising. Don't want to damage those important revenue streams.
Sadly, I arrived back just in time to participate in the pro-smacking referendum. 'Should a smack as part of bad parental correction be a criminal offence?” Oops, sorry, did I word the question incorrectly? Or was it 'Should a smack – just a little one, you know, not in anger, more a tap really – as part of good parental correction be stomped on by the jackbooted fascists of Nanny State?”
I do understand though. New Zealanders obviously need to hit someone, and – since it's illegal to strike anyone else - it's important to regain the right to hit your kids.
No matter that Geoff Annans, the CEO of the NZ Nurses Association says: 'As an organisation of 43,000 health professionals and carers we are clear that any steps that can be taken to protect our children from violence should be. The evidence shows this is a law that is working and must be retained.”
The police also say the law is working. And the Children's Commissioner says 'I think the law as it currently stands is satisfactory and is a good piece of law for the children of New Zealand.” Even Paula Bennett (and, damn, how I hate to quote politicians) says: 'Should good parents be convicted for a light smack, we would look at changing the law, but so far we have seen no evidence that the law is not working.”
But I'm obviously swimming against the tide. New Zealanders want the legal right to hit their kids. So what if more kids get 'smacked” whenever the All Blacks lose? They're only kids, why should they have the same protection as every other New Zealander?
OK. Enough. If you feel miffed write to the editor.
Music. It's happening all over. Jazz first (and yes – damnit – it's on a Sunday). This Sunday (and the second Sunday of every month). Tauranga Jazz Club. It's at the Erin Lee Lounge of the RSA (formerly Fahy's) in Greerton. 5-8pm, members $10, visitors $15. Cheap drinks and food available. This week it's gypsy jazz from Bonjour Swing, featuring Marion Arts and Robbie Laven, and trad jazz from Bay Dixie.
And on Wednesday (and the second Wednesday of every month) there's the newly-formed Blues Club jam. At Drivers Bar in the 11 Ave Plaza. 7-10pm. It doesn't cost anything. Join the jam or just hang with some of the Bay's top musos. Hear blues, drink booze, talk loud. It could be fun...
watusi@thesun.co.nz